“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
I know I’ve always been one to care, and probably a little too much. But after some reflection and talking to those true best friends who have always been there, I just realized I only want good & positive influences in my life.
That’s not to say only people who have their life together and all that, (although I guess that is a factor in some ways indirectly if you think about it), but I’m just tired of having negativity in my life. Whether it comes from my family, friends, or even significant others I’m just tired of it. I can with complete honesty say that I have tried. I have forgiven when I shouldn’t have, been there in times others weren’t there for me, apologized first, and the list can only go on. There is only so much that I can take, before it just really starts to affect me. I’ve cried enough, been upset enough, and let things like this take me down.
And I find myself asking, all the time, “Why do I care so much?” It just feels so undeserved on my part. I’m not saying I’m a saint, but in certain cases this applies.
I guess I’m just trying to say, with my new “perspective” that I mentioned in my other blog, this too will be part of it. I have best friends who I can count on (and there’s years of evidence and trust to support that), who are nothing but kind to me, are there for me, listen to me when I need advice, listen to me rant on and on, keep up with my bipolar moods and attitudes, and always make time for me. And with all of these best friends I can say it goes both ways.
So I just feel that those are the people I need to care about, the people I should allow myself to care for. Not to sound mean or rude in this way at all, but I just simply can’t put effort into caring about those who don’t deserve it as much. It’s just painful to let myself feel horrible because something isn’t working out.
I just had to let that out there. I know it will be tough, but it just seems best for my life right now. And I advice everyone else to do the same. Focus on the ones that matter in the long run, not just the ones who matter right now.
